New Beginnings

June 30, 2020

Oh hey. You. What are you doing on this page?

Yeah — You. 

If you’re here you must be for some reason. If there was a hope to learn something of substantial value I’m sorry to disappoint. This is just a page for random musings. But before you decide whether to stay or go, know that you’re reading the first blog entry on this site. That’s something worth celebrating. A tiny victory for the day, like being the first in line at Starbucks, or the first to order a pizza.

Speaking of victories, I’m currently enduring that blend between excitement and anxiety that most of us ride like waves on a day to day basis. (The victory is riding the wave in the first place.)

There’s that excitement that Bolder Dreams — a book I poured myself into — will actually see the light of day (thanks to Illumify Media Global). That alone sends racing cars through my veins in a rush of adrenaline. 

It’s this creation I once labored over without any guarantee that anyone would ever see it, and now they will. I’d imagine it’s a lot like what every athlete across the country felt this Spring — working hard to make gains, hoping to hit the track, and then they finally get the opportunity to toe the line (most didn’t). You’re excited to actually have the chance to compete, but also—

In that same pool of excitement lurks anxiety, slithering in the deep, waiting to pounce. 

When you write a book, or a story, or create anything really, a thin layer of your skin sheds off into it. And if people read deep enough into whatever it is you’ve created, they get to know you a little better — they get to see into you

In one perspective, writing can be like going to a therapist. You talk and talk and talk (write and write and write), and them someone reads between the pauses (lines) to decipher what exactly it is you’re saying (writing) in more depth. It’s like looking into a mirror from another angle. If I say I like pickles and cheese because of the contrast between moisture and dryness, perhaps it’s that I really like contrast in life

That’s where the anxiety pounces. 

Writing a book is wearing your heart on your sleeve to be lazy and use that worn-out analogy. And to be honest it’s something I’ve avoided for the latter part of my life. When you open that door you’re exposing yourself to two things: acceptance, or rejection. But when you avoid that sort of objective reaction you snuff out any opportunity to really succeed at anything. Why douse the fire before the flames rage?

The winner of a race wins by gambling on a hot pace. It may work. Or it may send them off into the bushes to get sliced and diced. Maybe there’s a snake in those bushes. But hey, battle wounds, right? Being bold sets the winner apart from the rest of the pack. You’ve got to put yourself in the position to succeed knowing that potential failure comes with the territory — the gamble. 

No. Now there won’t be any hiding anymore. It’s all out there on the page, or the table. With the salt and pepper, and salad bowl with balsamic vinaigrette still pooling at the bottom.  

Exposed.

Likewise — promoting your book, your work, on social media. 

Where is the line between promoting your work tastefully and coming off like a total narcissist? Is there a line? How many times of seeing my face or hearing my thoughts and opinions on this or that is too much? Does anyone really care if I think Radiohead’s “OK Computer” album is their best? (Or better  — does it even matter?) I’ve avoided such shameful self-promotions for a long, long time because of this very question. And perhaps it’s one I’ll have to answer in the coming months. 

And on that note, while you’re here, follow me on all my social media platforms (links below!), and sign up for my newsletter. #ShamelessSelfPromotion

What was the title of this blog again?

Shedding Skin.

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